Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I fill condoms, not promises.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
