Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
