if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
