Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I smell stomach acid.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
