Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
