he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
