watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
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just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
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Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I wear drunk well.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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