My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
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I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
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Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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