Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
