he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
