The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
