Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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