oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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