whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
