The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just invented taco cereal.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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