It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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