Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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