We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
