Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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