It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
