sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
