Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm passing your future prison.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize