I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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