I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
