'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
