This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I can't turn off my feet"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
