i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
