haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
