I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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