Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
