Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
