I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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