This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
