: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
