Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
