sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
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He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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