i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
