I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wish i was in the wii world.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
