we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
