I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
