I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
