I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
