Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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