I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
