We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
