I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
