i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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