You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
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Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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