Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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