you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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