hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize