All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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