And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
