They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
