Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
