TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
