guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize