ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
