Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
